Subject: Fw: Story from a husband - please read it slowly% l* `! p" m( m& Z
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When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms
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. m# X4 r0 O; p* j! a1 |On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped 6 w2 q4 D0 V- v( m+ t
in
; a9 |5 _& }# d6 m$ |. b" lfront of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of / \/ ]5 v+ E% H
the
5 Z+ o; Q% r% u, Ccar in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and % \7 F6 r6 i8 W! n# A0 o
shy..
8 K8 m x. n& r' GI was a strong and happy bridegroom.) M) a! a( h3 O! x |' a
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This was the scene ten years ago.) }0 Z! r* z3 e9 f8 }
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The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid; % k, f. W5 K9 n5 I# A
I
7 G$ Q1 O3 m* c- F0 X1 T4 nwent into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were
: m$ n4 R" Z0 t8 Gsteadily increasing, the affection between us seemed to ebb. She was a
/ {; r6 X7 d+ {- Z& }civil
4 r/ z+ O1 F$ I1 u: dservant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the
; J3 ]6 d# L) g, qsame% x6 ]5 J4 T9 X7 @0 P6 S
time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.
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Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was
l, Q {" {5 i5 f, H9 ^more
, j: F U1 {8 h0 T' A$ r- hlikely to be affected by unpredictable changes.
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2 k3 r1 N! [4 y' w/ l# uDew came into my life.
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0 w7 L3 u6 L& U& C& qIt was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from
$ o7 d2 Z( ~5 O% O9 c' J3 Ybehind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This
0 W. L6 i3 P3 ]6 l2 F: D: `$ Y& j* Swas the& Y3 L$ I% a t+ V7 S: z) w: r2 o3 o
apartment I bought for her., K& E8 E# O! O
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Dew said, you are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Her * g# K7 J8 O1 @, c) Y
words8 W0 @+ ~# s6 X. r" L$ P
suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we were just married, my wife
' E" [, k+ H- Y" \ r; ssaid,
, `7 w$ w9 W( Q+ t& ?Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.9 C" G' \% E3 X& n3 y! g
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Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my f! ?6 e: P( g, A
wife.. But I couldn't help doing so.2 E3 a H# w" z |# i9 w
: W m- y5 o5 L: sI moved Dew's hands aside and said you go to select some furniture,
4 X$ o3 A; {0 W7 `O.K.?
& W* j, V2 x- Y8 H' `I've got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, : k9 G( ?" z5 A$ E# S$ `. ^ R
because" @; q$ z; ~+ M. N0 K7 q. Y
I had promised to do it together with her. At the moment, the idea of* X' H2 `" o0 W9 V4 m% q
divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something
+ x6 f, J7 K$ u' I- ~# {" `impossible to me.
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' F; e# } x$ v; vHowever, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No
. `$ x" C/ C) w$ V# {matter how# D# X5 g3 z1 ?( q
mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt.' o' |8 |* K% y9 ^/ G
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Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing
/ p/ l' W# e' r3 i6 p2 F f) J4 ~dinner.
, ^! K- c. ^+ a- R- OI was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we
7 y+ v* o1 m @2 H ewatched" f( G) c: s# P/ @3 X
TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's 2 w% @4 e" W5 B/ T, B9 k( G0 K
body.0 L8 g3 C/ |' m5 ~
This was the means of my entertainment.4 z a2 H7 ^5 s7 z0 N+ F2 C% H
* Z( P) `- C8 vOne day I said to her in a slightly joking way, suppose we divorce, 2 o* ]* L' u4 C) F- ^
what
, M; z* p( b) a* {will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word.
4 h+ j; F$ l6 T/ hApparently
) s+ A6 b( `/ V; Z. i5 V8 ~+ e, Hshe believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I . v F$ I4 m- _
couldn't7 J1 F$ q$ E4 z9 i' m
imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.
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When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all
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2 D1 s( R! `& C' g. t; W( J5 X" Z4 H, jstaff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide
1 m; R9 V9 r/ ?something
( G, y$ }$ S4 n- B! Ywhile talking to her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently
: {9 n' s# H' d5 esmiled at9 N6 z) [; E( t& P7 q! Y
my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.& F5 p; h1 Y# e- G! g
+ M$ ]; i3 L& ^/ `Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live
# m" K4 ^6 u/ B2 G3 Stogether. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.
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When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I've got something . R8 _4 A0 H- r8 ^: g
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tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the
: U6 R- [4 i; v! m& m4 C$ ~hurt in7 G+ r* `* P( Q V3 C3 b5 }' K
her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let / W' ^* W, J Q
her) z6 x7 b3 _ B/ |: u
know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the serious topic3 v7 m& l7 B O) R1 K0 o1 m/ a8 E
calmly.( ?5 Z: [- f* O0 k3 {, o
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She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, ) C9 `* m: H6 u# j# `; `8 @1 b0 e
why?; B0 m& E) K) W9 s6 ?1 Q+ F9 h5 ~
I'm serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer made her 5 H7 G, C) Q( [0 P9 L' h" V
angry..% R1 a7 d1 @7 z0 Q9 ]0 K& e% b
She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!
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That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she
; p# q! v1 N- y8 H9 K7 bwanted
: [2 S! ^$ _2 v1 Oto find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give
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satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.
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& _9 i; O3 U' eWith a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated - l& V' D% u: H- f, [. H; N9 v
that
7 E$ [' e% x1 g( x0 }she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She . ?0 E' b1 l; T* |1 I
glanced! [; B9 h6 }) q- l7 D+ A
at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The 9 q( Z$ c; V: b( _
woman who( U8 Y/ i3 d( s, c' @
had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But
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could not take back what I had said.
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3 ^" Y4 Q9 c2 \4 v; MFinally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected 7 I8 L9 F6 t8 _) d0 m) d3 n
to
@# F. t' G. A3 Jsee. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce
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had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.
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Late that night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw , q3 x( m7 C* ~
her
2 |1 \* M3 j1 a% @; C) Jwriting something at the table. I fall asleep fast. When I woke up, I
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she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.
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7 p' ^' |4 J1 C" RShe brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from 7 F5 [, @3 a6 m. P/ {/ q- h% t
me, but% P# }4 F6 C' z ^1 P( s& ?5 U
I was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce, and in the4 H i1 [* M) `! C0 [9 C) ?# Z5 r# e
month's time we must live as normal a life as possible. Her reason was
& M! x1 z' ?2 r. h/ D) Nsimple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she* N' z/ j- b9 _# X& ?
didn't want him to see our marriage was broken.
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She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do
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f' v2 k. C C+ Mstill remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This
7 c3 A* `- m# rquestion suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I ; I$ ?) x1 m- Z9 f6 Z: ^! x; k
nodded
4 h, ?8 Z) r4 P+ J( r) ?and said, I remember. You carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I
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a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when . y6 w# x* z. J' q9 h& I8 {4 |7 A
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divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from ( ?0 O8 T, x: U& `: m
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bedroom to the door every morning.
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I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished C+ w" N% [$ T) r% Q
to) C$ N/ b: @" Z, R# L/ l
end her marriage romantically.# W3 l6 x. \$ J5 I
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I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and
. g) G& j! c2 u) c0 Uthought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face E7 `3 {+ V2 c5 q+ c! T; O
the
4 B0 ?( F' Q0 S! X# D$ wresult of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me ( d2 f2 d0 p! s
feel
# R0 ?8 z& v. t" `& P0 F# juncomfortable.
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" J. |# R/ F7 U. pMy wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention
' X8 R7 }) t7 ?7 kwas
- m* y! A; Y% d |0 Lexplicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when
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$ h6 y8 a% C4 q( u2 vcarried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son
5 J4 H1 |3 G2 ?8 cclapped' E8 @- j4 w6 t
behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a
- A) l+ M1 T9 B& M0 X: vsense
/ [2 X8 b7 T5 d0 ], ~4 mof pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I
' |/ q" `# G- W% w- zwalked
/ f0 m' O' X" Q5 R2 @0 dover ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said
7 @4 Z# |; d0 a1 |2 w2 M& V( usoftly,
6 M4 u3 b' n4 t5 r8 n8 o) aLet us start from today, don't tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat
; l$ y, ?2 ?! F5 O/ r" K) |! i/ Qupset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for a bus, I 7 ]; C( L, e$ l- Q+ m/ ^5 E1 R
drove
9 P. v/ i# n/ C( kto the office.1 K- W0 _% k. u: Q1 P7 s
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On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my
. V- e& i5 l- C* `* d0 m7 B% R& qchest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse.
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& p$ p; Q' x1 n# e& j3 Krealized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a
, N w% H3 u1 F2 t: L; k2 C, w8 }long
; c4 _" i$ t- ^6 X. y- `time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles
6 ?5 }9 s8 l* U4 p3 Oon1 A1 k: x! ^- C* H. Q9 i
her face.
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On the third day, she whispered to me, the outside garden is being
# V$ y2 K" x/ G. |8 J7 p/ ^' g+ o, edemolished. Be careful when you pass there.
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5 K; F# X9 G* ?2 P* }On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were 3 v5 s7 @- p: f/ J
still
9 y# Q# _6 x) s( fan intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The
0 A$ ~2 I' f" Rvisualization of Dew became vague.
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On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, z' y7 q3 T! q0 P2 Q
where/ c1 j8 E* O' ^
she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I 0 P% K5 [. N7 U e
nodded.1 q# w7 s, A% U- c; |' P
The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this.
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* S9 k" x& B! H( x1 j' GI felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me
5 O# \( G. z5 o. ^: B+ Z: Estronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now. She # s" S, _ W) V
was
0 G3 M! B; A& A7 fpicking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a
5 f9 ~0 J" S" K4 N- }* S; ufew
+ b1 ~, r% R5 Q, q2 Gbut could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have
4 @6 G5 Z' g7 l5 F: vgrown bigger. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she
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thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger.
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6 c" d% X* `8 `3 \& W' J; x! Sknew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a , t- w/ q* l+ ^6 l+ Z5 C
sense
7 R9 C/ A8 {- T+ w1 S9 }, oof pain.. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.4 j$ W% Z/ } ]9 }
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Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it's time to carry mum out. He . N; f$ m- L( F/ e9 B, k7 D
said. To; s5 M$ [* F/ z5 X/ |/ x& w
him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential , W1 Z9 C# J, Y+ K3 N* c
part of
& f2 x/ g n; J% p3 \his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I
9 [# C+ t) u# H. W$ k! q1 Jturned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last
2 b1 c {6 Y5 \6 Zminute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the ) W3 D1 Y& t/ R. n
sitting* v# v. @0 \0 y9 {6 G- l
room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally.
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held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her
# [) f; Y3 Y6 a) _" ymuch
. W- P' o3 w# h, {( ]% flighter weight made me sad.
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& l! d% }! j8 R$ D# f6 X ?On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. + ~5 j4 U8 w6 T8 r+ x
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son had gone to school. She said, actually I hope you will hold me in
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arms until we are old.& L# ]2 u4 W% _5 x, o- \2 J
+ ]& ~% \! Z6 d# VI held her tightly and said, both you and I didn't notice that our life
' [) V: s$ B3 C5 y) olacked intimacy.. t. [; K, k0 M3 I
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I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid / z' l3 z K. L) Y- i$ f& f
any
0 p- P( _) u j9 i$ n ^+ }* C3 y, idelay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened
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door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious.
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She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no
4 y5 ^5 d5 n8 ^fever.. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I : u5 @3 y! K7 c0 S# s3 g0 M
can* r# ^4 e7 e$ W% ]# |, e6 F
only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring
' n* c; `8 T+ E1 u6 Dprobably
: t7 e" B9 s$ fbecause she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we , f1 T% m$ } ~, L
didn't7 L' N& I/ B9 B% Q7 a5 S' s
love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her # ]' v" j- W' z7 ^! Y) {
into the
7 d& w1 P- l5 D4 L9 Xhome, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am
6 q# T! A! f3 @$ X y: W/ J% W5 Vold.
8 v. Q7 s4 X( h9 h' `So I have to say sorry to you.
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6 X9 d+ x$ A1 h+ {' IDew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then
( x7 t& g% Y# Y% q8 E$ K, kslammed the
) w( }: N& O; T; U1 Bdoor and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.
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l* C; K0 C* @$ O; VWhen I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my ! R& ^3 N7 P/ J7 I1 b
wife. f; g7 j$ G5 |# f( V
which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the
* `6 y0 n% {) [" `: lcard. I
2 F/ W, w: N% }' G4 z* }" Csmiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until we are old.
