Subject: Fw: Story from a husband - please read it slowly, @ s( j# n( E. m" t5 I: k
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7 |- W, I# B8 }1 I, p$ u( _When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms
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% n. o0 I( w1 S6 x% ^On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped
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front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of * M% O X) Z. ]
the: k! R& K1 X3 ?- y# b
car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and
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' K, b0 ]& r; O$ s1 E1 [I was a strong and happy bridegroom.
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This was the scene ten years ago., x1 u9 m+ D' v0 V
/ m `' _' v! {8 d/ xThe following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid; . _8 u1 y/ I) U( `+ u3 |: A0 ]
I
/ d$ v$ x3 j# X" hwent into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were
* g" K8 b. e0 E' Zsteadily increasing, the affection between us seemed to ebb. She was a + T& v0 j+ A# h1 ^9 f" T
civil3 c/ {1 ^. t" Z7 n
servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the 3 ~) e0 d- J( T2 F8 ?- n+ N% l
same. \2 P0 U# @' ~% c
time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.% u/ P1 e1 G/ g- t" q6 Z6 M
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Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was
6 ` f1 b3 l5 n4 t* pmore; a: M' C1 D6 e4 J( ^# S( R# ^
likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.& v E0 i# g. U0 m) ^. w) v
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0 x% u/ x- z, wDew came into my life.' \. b/ V" a, Z
. P) r1 _2 f& {( s0 S+ B* S8 A9 @It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from
2 l4 D7 r* o/ J, }4 Q% L' |behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This : Q0 {+ b8 Z& e/ R. e3 x
was the
# K$ ]" I i' ~: R, W" Japartment I bought for her.* h$ \) [0 S1 g: }+ y- t' T. Z
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Dew said, you are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Her
, M9 K$ |9 L# b! V$ hwords
( S& D2 M: @7 G( u, Q5 vsuddenly reminded me of my wife. When we were just married, my wife # B; v4 c; K4 t* K' m6 t& {/ i
said,
: s/ D4 g/ _, @) r% TMen like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.
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0 V6 W b& c; ~+ ~: qThinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my* q% E2 Q! A; w5 g7 R, `; m3 Z( S
wife.. But I couldn't help doing so.
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1 ]! |. H5 q4 c- B- [4 Q, \$ |7 _I moved Dew's hands aside and said you go to select some furniture, ) i F% ~# }; F0 D$ s2 u
O.K.?, H1 \. R% j0 i' r5 ~" P( ^9 G
I've got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, . m3 l8 T$ T9 y% z: V9 {% _
because
/ l9 H% D/ v& X2 {+ vI had promised to do it together with her. At the moment, the idea of
% P3 i- a' R" t# z: }# ~6 mdivorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something
S7 ]9 c# R0 {$ F$ e" wimpossible to me.4 s2 q& ~! x9 s9 s
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However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No 5 z# U2 ]0 l+ ~
matter how
# G( g7 q3 p, omildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt.# q( c: Q5 l8 a1 @
* Q+ l% _/ S# T" e2 h4 zHonestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing 0 V! z' M1 g* O2 m: V8 }
dinner.
7 e& c8 v8 |1 c! s2 N/ l- v" l5 b: SI was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we 0 J W1 t* A. v/ n
watched8 Z x# h a$ {
TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's ' s, G% G4 D! O& h
body.
, u- |/ `! f, z& @+ g. l" A* uThis was the means of my entertainment.
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One day I said to her in a slightly joking way, suppose we divorce, 9 p+ W% G* D- m
what; R/ X$ z3 i" g
will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word.
4 x. ?7 ?3 E0 y& Q! p+ r- VApparently
, m" L7 H6 U8 B- j8 a. B ashe believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I
4 u0 k0 q2 Q9 J' B5 Hcouldn't
* ~, g/ m. w# C( rimagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.4 V* l, {7 M V
9 M/ F: U- w1 W: E6 cWhen my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all
2 ~4 | H% o# t+ I+ { p4 X. Mthe
4 C( J' x) M5 H( u' R V2 mstaff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide 7 ^" _6 N O* F* a
something
9 N2 s ]: A0 \- k" M. t. fwhile talking to her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently
1 j+ b9 p! A4 U. C: i1 csmiled at+ J, d4 @6 D! }: f& G, K
my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.( }3 y$ l0 V! e1 k1 S$ F. L
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Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live) V9 n D& G# B
together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.
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8 m/ ^& J0 X& B* BWhen my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I've got something
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tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the
/ h1 s# d/ U& J1 N* Mhurt in
6 Z+ k1 M2 m! Wher eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let
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/ E/ b: x% f! K+ ?! H4 \& G0 qknow what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the serious topic
7 |! ~5 w" m& Y% o$ J! x# O: D' Ncalmly.
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4 K/ \8 }- s( j) S( ZShe didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly,
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I'm serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer made her
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She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!2 W6 C2 ~3 L8 s, g
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That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she 8 `! b* B( T( i z. v5 M- b+ G
wanted
4 o, v8 }5 x# V' fto find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give ' y" B5 Z+ h2 [ S b
her a
* O* j8 N$ E4 L: rsatisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.! F/ U6 {5 D5 x+ f- n
9 p. }: \# k. ^+ H9 @; c/ G* O/ ZWith a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated
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she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She
8 h& {9 ^5 y) e" c* H3 Q Mglanced
& H( B0 ^4 W$ M4 \" D( uat it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The
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had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But
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could not take back what I had said.
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$ H7 b+ z+ x8 [- Q0 D, i5 tFinally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected & T. v3 E3 Q' m. I! @4 ~9 e4 M$ D
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see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce
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. q6 [5 z- [* W7 ] r+ Hhad obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.$ h5 K" A) q: W4 c7 Z, W+ _
* n$ D6 @- O& A4 P' X9 gLate that night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw $ G: |/ c% ~) E, N/ p' j2 f
her
) ^ R: x, `! zwriting something at the table. I fall asleep fast. When I woke up, I
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she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.
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She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from
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I was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce, and in the
# }4 c# P( M8 k' p- Zmonth's time we must live as normal a life as possible. Her reason was
) @; |6 o( y1 y& `! Esimple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she
0 }& U7 s+ ~0 X! t- hdidn't want him to see our marriage was broken.
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7 O7 e2 M4 |8 Q5 }She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do 0 j7 [' O1 j$ Z& O$ G' _: F9 i
you P p9 u( Q# }: a# {6 Q
still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This
# E8 _$ v& L* o+ W$ F. squestion suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I ) q1 R2 R3 t7 r; {# e$ l6 ?
nodded
9 `) `- J ~% B+ aand said, I remember. You carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I : x4 u8 Q" u6 B+ F; ^. n7 _
have( q# t8 u% r6 e
a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when ( [5 E- \+ o/ _( T& ?
we
: f; w6 T4 d; l6 h( r: Ddivorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from 4 w# ]4 J0 W+ e
the
& _) f" ?% h. }! G% k0 z3 j! I% cbedroom to the door every morning.
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+ I/ a$ l4 b" f0 @9 |. l qI accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished
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end her marriage romantically.
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) C; \- g9 r9 v0 ]0 m1 aI told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and
4 V7 |, u( Q. hthought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face & M" |+ n+ M7 g. V
the
, @3 g6 K0 T7 Y3 ?& Wresult of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me
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: q7 }+ n, M; `# b7 iuncomfortable.
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, V8 f9 [6 I6 R, s, F0 \My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention
) f* L( S) c/ P. V6 s- Ywas
- i- z2 y+ \; ^% C2 J1 _ n3 @explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when
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4 ~" z- T" l8 R) D# @2 m4 j5 s4 kcarried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son
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* h* Z5 F. B2 a7 Ibehind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a
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2 w3 `7 O( O% t2 f7 N/ X3 ]of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I
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5 r* ]3 g9 o5 u {* T1 Pover ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said
& o# z5 c% t' F; u* X8 U4 xsoftly,
# w2 g7 u" Q0 ^5 }( `, @9 NLet us start from today, don't tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat+ x0 A: G3 k$ F
upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for a bus, I % y* j8 e- k8 I
drove
: b! g( i* Y- ?# i: rto the office., g8 g( o5 N: V6 W. r2 `& }
. l. x7 [5 a, WOn the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my. r: A6 {, h; d8 I/ |" c% t& j
chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. : x& M6 R b6 o- c
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realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a
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time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles
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her face." J N8 p; U! y
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On the third day, she whispered to me, the outside garden is being
1 L0 V) m1 g+ k# Xdemolished. Be careful when you pass there.0 }( E {, |/ d
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On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were
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an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The9 F9 J: H Q7 `6 [
visualization of Dew became vague.
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" Z8 ^4 |/ l' l2 w$ s/ P2 b8 ZOn the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as,
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she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I
0 G W9 `" J8 Q9 ^3 _" ~! X/ o# Unodded.! E! B- a# R: N, f1 W) R
The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this.3 |# X( o- s8 s2 R/ c0 r5 I5 J
( T- O! f/ |7 p9 J5 h+ ]( v7 UI felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me; b, v' y* I3 T
stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now. She
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picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a 5 F/ E/ v; B# W/ N: Z
few
$ H2 `* o) W) A6 lbut could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have& @. q2 m0 h8 S) [9 T$ ~1 M: [
grown bigger. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she
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0 x- B% ^& }/ Q. s ?thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger.
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3 F% P4 N$ A9 r e7 p8 eknew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a
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4 c, Z7 \+ B, `: Fof pain.. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.) H7 [, m) z$ T( b, B% B
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Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it's time to carry mum out. He * u4 }9 u$ C# m- B, d2 K4 x% O" V# p# G
said. To" b9 v/ Z, A5 u0 L1 Z2 I
him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential 6 n" R+ z x& }7 p( D6 P9 V( a
part of
8 ?& E9 B8 w& {( ?, x' C$ Whis life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I4 L" f4 J: z/ z: u0 J. J
turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last
- p& Q' P- B4 V3 A3 L9 a3 Zminute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the 6 E9 w' K2 S, Z$ W+ H# l
sitting5 Q" l0 m5 m Z- u
room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally.
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4 V0 f6 X* k' X1 a$ |& C: sheld her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her " @7 E( y0 V3 o" C& q; R% {
much% Q0 Z$ b* j; h0 {. @
lighter weight made me sad.
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On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. 2 p; s# w5 ?% `5 K
Our) ]# x1 [0 }8 e
son had gone to school. She said, actually I hope you will hold me in
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arms until we are old./ B# K8 \+ {) ^ X4 ^. C1 Y
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I held her tightly and said, both you and I didn't notice that our life3 S$ V) u) D& G5 J
lacked intimacy.* c. _7 Z y/ z( E
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I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid ; v" K( F* R0 M1 D
any6 q% V! ?# g+ h4 [1 F j
delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened ! |, ^8 q0 O+ N* N5 k
the( t/ Z0 X2 n* z. Z( L8 I. i
door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious.
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She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no! e# u8 S0 R9 n) }
fever.. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I 0 s: O6 q7 G( y( j
can
. p; w- J, {9 v, gonly say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring 3 D" U- q; q; n: }$ u) U
probably
# I$ N3 W8 t/ J3 Ubecause she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we $ m; z5 w+ p& m3 J
didn't7 [3 U5 B H, y
love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her
' Q7 Z: |! f: Ninto the
5 m, U4 G" u3 P5 Whome, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am
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So I have to say sorry to you.
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) A# @' R& c9 r' n2 w# G% |" kDew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then
% K q( N- e, x& Z7 f# R; Oslammed the
; k3 ?/ M7 `5 p8 O+ H( Gdoor and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.
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When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my
% U ~/ l1 K8 h+ a# E0 vwife
7 U: P3 |8 t" k. awhich was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the & j& m% F! `0 z* l' I3 D
card. I
% K: G0 y/ P m1 A0 F, u! Msmiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until we are old.
