Subject: Fw: Story from a husband - please read it slowly
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0 x* H7 c+ V! Z4 iWhen You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms: f3 l% g: q# E' \; A
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On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped + T# V% O' A0 N! i$ j9 X
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front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of f0 d% D% Y1 k2 n) J+ ~$ m
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car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and ' _5 a( E' f1 T; A' I
shy..
$ @8 k! z$ N4 z' w7 MI was a strong and happy bridegroom.
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This was the scene ten years ago.$ U. E& M P' j3 Z/ a2 E! |! r' z3 o
7 w. g* x, B2 x7 R5 ]The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid;
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, S, o5 w" a3 P' K4 r5 H9 Fwent into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were
2 C2 E$ c- Q% P; rsteadily increasing, the affection between us seemed to ebb. She was a
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servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the
5 T4 F9 S1 T+ W, ?3 n& v, [- g5 osame5 E1 o$ \" j! |/ u# I
time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.2 N. i* J2 ^: n7 l; q
0 V6 I( f+ S4 J! |) N+ |8 B2 kOur marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was 4 y- }% h; T# t- a2 ~0 z
more
2 T! T; W9 v) l& I* U+ j0 Vlikely to be affected by unpredictable changes.* |0 k- B T! W# t1 K
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/ I/ E- r' z7 y: G) b/ ~Dew came into my life., R5 u, {6 e: {4 a
' X, S7 _' k- j1 T f0 mIt was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from2 x8 d. Y3 X: z7 C: r4 S" m' H5 n
behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This ! X% H, J- b: A. w
was the
2 x- M% T9 y8 q. X S- L, Eapartment I bought for her.
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' q9 z' J" G! e/ X$ LDew said, you are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Her 7 T* l7 ?2 g/ e( s8 T
words
$ _! |: `1 ^0 h. M( P0 csuddenly reminded me of my wife. When we were just married, my wife + Q( N' l- [; ?: n, ?& E. y
said,
. J4 h/ ]: |( ]0 V* v, i2 aMen like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.' ]* G5 q, N0 m$ n& E# b. }
3 n! j' y( ?4 {Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my
- U4 F2 A* s- F- F+ fwife.. But I couldn't help doing so.# k, }. J( m& z, S& n. ?) Y( [
% P& p- F( ?% o" I- u3 JI moved Dew's hands aside and said you go to select some furniture,
) P" E! t, a' X; A% {O.K.?
. @5 b, ?. @, E$ WI've got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy,
% [0 T9 f4 I% rbecause& ?% E, h* o7 v; d( v: b! Z2 i# \
I had promised to do it together with her. At the moment, the idea of% t: {9 m) e. U B7 }
divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something
' s5 M2 E! ~( S/ c, S4 s V- fimpossible to me.
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L U, l4 j' g/ j0 m7 a5 `However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No 1 z/ I; E. C0 U# ?! j
matter how
! }) [# p( _8 K; Fmildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt.
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Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing + L* U, g, _# w
dinner.
x/ \4 f* ?4 D% J; k1 u3 J% eI was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we ) ~. t. Z$ U4 {& d: w o
watched4 }9 b. G' C) a0 H a0 ^
TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's 6 t o" |1 I# j6 O; P& z
body.8 _8 w1 L- _) K3 G
This was the means of my entertainment., L6 S; z. I, V0 y" I: w, {
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One day I said to her in a slightly joking way, suppose we divorce,
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will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word.
4 N( a9 c9 O$ ?4 v9 C6 D0 x6 u' ]- ^4 MApparently
- G$ d! r' g9 H$ n) I/ A) vshe believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I ' ^% R1 Y1 z0 Z
couldn't
0 S# Z* n* A8 T! \imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious. y# V4 u# Y9 ^) J9 K
) g( l: M6 G% v' h4 H7 U( }When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all
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staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide $ H* z- `# {: E3 Q
something
; X1 l& m- J5 n, s) s% bwhile talking to her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently
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my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.- J! z9 N$ c! R, m
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Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live# a% E$ D$ a5 k4 C) X7 v
together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.3 d% e: y' o/ K2 \
d! b( M- P* l& }2 A/ vWhen my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I've got something
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tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the 2 P3 ]- h D& x- R( E1 o8 d1 d
hurt in2 `( h+ d7 `- V9 _# M
her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let 5 {( L7 @3 ^5 E/ E/ i
her
( d+ A ^" h: h$ ]7 y& f6 W* h# H/ Nknow what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the serious topic0 [& X% P' V" E% x( ` w( N
calmly.
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! W$ i: w' B& C0 b4 W+ u0 tShe didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, 1 s* A5 U" n1 i: w
why?, v1 Q" \6 E* p, ]8 n
I'm serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer made her
6 f$ [' y6 k) M( H, C. Wangry..
% T( a8 ^& A3 Q3 r5 X' EShe threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!
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That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she ' f# q4 K1 O Y/ T
wanted
5 R, B3 ^) e" Y Xto find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give
$ ?5 H7 H3 w& t, V. N1 Nher a
. P8 w/ q% C- @' Tsatisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.7 o$ {/ E2 P- u3 T5 B6 K1 q# z$ [; Z
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With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated X+ @* W2 a) G M, Y
that
, s8 B4 N5 D) A" o; }4 _2 u/ _she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She 9 u% f) s+ K5 z8 Q" z; a
glanced! T* g7 B: ], K4 U
at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The 1 j2 @1 n. ]4 l1 N6 M$ M
woman who
- I% h/ p8 I% ^( t" Nhad been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But 3 d5 e2 j3 {/ }$ v# c2 q
I
k4 [* Z; Q& W' x L; Ycould not take back what I had said.
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" N3 R$ T; b/ n, e; |1 }% ` ]Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected 1 h! |3 d7 p B& L/ Q2 l9 w) E
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see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce
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had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.; Q- ^" Z- p; T5 r3 s. n- @& p
+ I# D4 @* L) c! u1 i+ FLate that night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw
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$ H: {* |0 b- e' |( i' ^writing something at the table. I fall asleep fast. When I woke up, I
& c m4 j8 m, Ufound
; J! r2 i! Y3 l+ g0 I/ i$ fshe was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.- g- A. |- h7 O. o' ~
! J6 S% f+ ~" q7 U: r4 w' y- TShe brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from
2 _* c8 p4 @" ~5 l) jme, but
z* k- U$ [6 MI was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce, and in the' u7 Y/ X i& W9 T# Z
month's time we must live as normal a life as possible. Her reason was
+ \3 r/ u- F$ D4 |# B) hsimple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she
' W6 g4 u/ @7 j; ~6 r5 {2 x( Ldidn't want him to see our marriage was broken.
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& a, z& P( M' n* z, OShe passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do - J$ F: D3 f( p" N5 F% O2 n# r
you
3 X1 l4 C6 \$ O6 Y$ z( W- K. cstill remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This: ]3 ?+ p F7 {" g
question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I
* h7 \/ Q4 U9 i; R- K- S! `nodded1 n* e6 _: z: J- d1 B' V& }
and said, I remember. You carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I
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a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when 8 Z/ ?" u0 f9 N- I+ O
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divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from
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bedroom to the door every morning.
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I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished & y; e# e1 t U
to
9 }- }# v! C+ h$ _/ h1 E3 V7 rend her marriage romantically.! F$ [) x& ^5 r$ H$ {/ p P) {) j
- P$ c1 b0 Z' \0 w6 j3 ~I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and5 C( V3 P$ J; b& [! X( v
thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face
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result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me 2 K9 ?! b% U" V+ [( p
feel- r$ H' v# x1 C" i3 \/ ]# l
uncomfortable.
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My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention
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explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when 9 o6 k8 ^. }& Y% v8 Q1 u! l8 l: [8 f
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carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son 6 G% ^/ a4 Y2 T2 S" Q7 U* l
clapped1 V5 u/ s/ i5 U* P5 o
behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a * |( T8 o6 o* H/ i0 v/ |
sense' f8 _+ I* p* C3 _8 y8 F# P
of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I . G" @0 f0 I7 r; l5 z
walked n, `9 t1 q$ n9 [
over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said $ H6 W; g, h: h& h4 I
softly,
# ]9 Z; z! P9 l( M# p& T2 s4 ^Let us start from today, don't tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat( n# \3 u: a# {2 X
upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for a bus, I ; m$ O2 J* o( t# m- T) U c
drove
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On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my
0 H2 z5 K$ V0 b% C; ?# w3 @) hchest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse.
2 F2 Z& v/ }' @+ z' }3 ~1 T8 MI
8 m8 d" e y' a A! d7 T0 u; Orealized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a 9 l- y" L0 f6 u: L- s$ M1 j
long
: c& g/ t( x9 i- ^; Htime. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles
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/ s9 b% g/ C) E/ L) T8 H6 ?( s5 j& Fher face./ x; o- i9 J; f$ _
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On the third day, she whispered to me, the outside garden is being
7 T8 X S4 f* I/ S' M, y6 f8 q( hdemolished. Be careful when you pass there." J1 n2 g/ W5 p% Z2 d8 H
) R4 W3 }5 q! }5 k fOn the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were 5 z- V4 ?' ]; F: e7 P2 Q
still
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visualization of Dew became vague.
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On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as,
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she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I
# ~- q+ i7 w; Knodded.
! N# h/ m! b- [5 ~" e2 cThe sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this.
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' U7 W! A% S. b( l# i E( ^( a2 CI felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me
1 |/ O9 r( q% N5 {stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now. She
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picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a ) t* X/ g+ @% Q: j* ^* c, Y
few
5 [) T6 y2 U2 E9 E, e, g6 q) a: Rbut could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have
; ~0 ~ v# w6 G Agrown bigger. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she
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thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger.
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knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a ' h0 ? @5 [1 E- n
sense
2 b/ l* B+ @3 ~; yof pain.. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head." Y; j3 j$ J. H A( s, | m9 I k
- ]/ m! v# y2 \5 G4 z. xOur son came in at the moment. Dad, it's time to carry mum out. He 9 t+ z6 Y2 Y7 }6 c! V
said. To
, d; ?2 {( P2 [7 nhim, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential ; c! s7 K- f* }# @
part of4 g3 ^( j% b7 Q; F7 @
his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I
1 K. w7 B: I; xturned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last
: Y- Y0 J+ A; z3 `5 Pminute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the
, p/ y7 B( Q, Z- S8 nsitting) j b e* }: `6 q
room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. D* L. N+ `/ g. a, [- s
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held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her
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lighter weight made me sad.
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On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. : N* L2 r, }, Z. ]) s* [1 n
Our
" ?/ N# A6 N! i5 dson had gone to school. She said, actually I hope you will hold me in
* X a7 @; ` lyour
; o; U: |7 V7 v: t- w T4 e) @arms until we are old.+ t6 r- }6 [# E3 J! ^8 R& B7 }$ K
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I held her tightly and said, both you and I didn't notice that our life
; a& J+ K- t* |1 C+ Tlacked intimacy.
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* s8 h% |2 m& B3 I+ sI jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid 1 x. k3 y7 ^2 J
any
3 ^" ~; n3 P. ydelay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened 1 Y/ E6 `# x( O4 F R6 N" F
the" O1 q7 F+ U5 }$ _! O- i
door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious.
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She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no& X( o' r3 a5 s' q
fever.. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I ) ?2 C0 d5 G5 q# }9 i2 J
can
* A% _; ]$ a0 [, U Z6 s2 monly say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring
: S8 [) ~) R$ u1 G$ Q( N \/ n |/ Dprobably
+ E: ^' W# v9 l6 Hbecause she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we
+ Q m' [5 _* n3 H# }* a2 Kdidn't
* p1 l8 T. I: r6 ]# t5 `love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her
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home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am
' o J* V, l2 l* C ]2 Q% N. Kold.
- X) D0 p; l; J6 p) I1 y) oSo I have to say sorry to you.
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, {8 x) f/ W3 i- D' wDew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then " ]3 V& o) _4 Z( V* p
slammed the
' E; x) ~4 W: g& _) wdoor and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.
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6 Z7 X$ ]: `, D% r4 V- r4 |When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my
1 I9 G* _2 A _# q2 _7 |7 Ywife
% _1 t# S% H# ~' M5 k# c4 A9 swhich was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the % E/ G8 B/ S9 Y. s3 t
card. I) F& O, j2 I" W$ d& w) s8 \; B/ Y, B
smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until we are old.