Subject: Fw: Story from a husband - please read it slowly
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When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms
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5 e. A5 Q8 h: [2 d9 UOn my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped
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front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of - i+ w f: ]& U" j4 f ?
the( ~0 H# _$ V$ X7 S$ I4 w
car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and # u8 L: V+ @. {+ Q& u; {
shy..
& n9 X, i7 |" w; B7 X eI was a strong and happy bridegroom.
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This was the scene ten years ago.
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The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid;
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went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were
+ _( S8 u2 r ksteadily increasing, the affection between us seemed to ebb. She was a 3 x6 V% J2 \9 L/ K, P' |
civil
/ _8 [/ H k* `. r: J% q m1 Kservant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the
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time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.: p) N9 F$ k7 M* V7 z; `# \; G; {
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Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was
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Z' v3 O( V1 j2 ulikely to be affected by unpredictable changes.
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Dew came into my life.1 i- D. R& x3 U
: ]) n+ g3 ^ }. V! g4 YIt was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from
4 R4 \" ?6 s% a8 o! n; bbehind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This
& z) q5 I. B: mwas the
5 M8 u$ e8 e- Q* w: Capartment I bought for her./ ^* a; I* w% h. i- y) [( K4 v
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Dew said, you are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Her # _# m+ c3 }/ @8 _
words
2 l5 P% h* |% ]0 L5 n2 a) T; }7 m# Isuddenly reminded me of my wife. When we were just married, my wife
1 C3 [5 E; ~! Y+ Z9 j% ^/ N$ J, Usaid,
0 U& i* S ?! i: {! `* ZMen like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.+ }* {' Q; R# ^8 g6 ` f
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Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my. R- T8 F/ O @' Q- j
wife.. But I couldn't help doing so., R: q" R a2 ^0 S# L% q7 J- [& ^/ `
4 h& k. V! N; m8 ZI moved Dew's hands aside and said you go to select some furniture, 9 G, H9 ~7 _% Z! e- ~* m3 p
O.K.? i. {+ S) j! h2 z7 A
I've got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, , v, m0 ~) W2 \: _; ]
because5 x0 q1 a4 S* W& |
I had promised to do it together with her. At the moment, the idea of3 }% ]8 f$ X" T' p7 S* o' @+ d
divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something% @$ ^' h+ T* Q6 Z' G7 p& {
impossible to me.6 z7 o/ D5 N" v7 G. L+ M
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However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No : k' r: L/ V: v$ P6 Z* p
matter how# A+ H. ^5 \, `3 X% p
mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt.) {$ f# ^" \; S1 k
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Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing 8 E; y. ]- f, |+ Y3 T) j) ]
dinner.4 N- L* i8 A. `- W! f
I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we
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TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's
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This was the means of my entertainment.; ~# W4 M) s3 H% V
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One day I said to her in a slightly joking way, suppose we divorce, : o1 p9 M4 e- t( r( C% h) [* X
what
5 O, Y% S( B8 X+ t/ K1 _* Mwill you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. ( x+ \& {9 R" }5 Q1 r
Apparently9 a. i3 J/ Z5 r+ s
she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I * }: M6 U" W( R ]0 q
couldn't
a8 C# r0 H6 ^8 V9 C& R, V ^& Uimagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.
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6 Y" E2 X8 ]' h+ \+ ]' ?/ n( J( B! _When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all $ |2 `% C: O& x( t; j
the: o0 X) E9 x7 l" J
staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide
5 W' L* h' o6 f9 l, {* W" Zsomething
* M2 M. ^3 M- y, gwhile talking to her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently " Y) ?9 F( x' s& ~
smiled at" u; r+ V: h: P: J m9 E% q
my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.7 m$ ^$ @9 h: J
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Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live
& m- E6 ]0 t" o' Ltogether. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.
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0 |1 l0 J6 D/ Z' GWhen my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I've got something / S D3 M4 V q9 K
to) {9 ~$ j0 o0 B9 T/ y0 b+ {
tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the
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her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let : r) @: D o+ k+ O
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know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the serious topic2 X0 y8 O6 f! W& `; E H @ j
calmly.7 L1 g* T/ \" d2 O* Y3 C$ J
0 O& ?, t) c: Z* Y! X! Y- m! d7 J5 t* s2 XShe didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly,
: }9 Q0 D! A, G# l0 `2 jwhy?
# T( P+ h' @! M7 AI'm serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer made her & r" b% v/ g4 D2 U' t0 g# Q$ ]
angry..
( F7 F* a# s* o& S$ R0 TShe threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!
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6 u0 U+ J2 _! D- k3 p: B' HThat night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she
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her a
* u2 W, C( u/ _) N+ T( ?" M4 Wsatisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.
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With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated $ y8 t4 B* `. N0 |9 o9 u
that
3 @0 a0 m9 m& {! k# v& S& k& Jshe could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She
9 b9 B2 M, w5 r7 s8 t5 R* Y( {1 jglanced: M5 o; W, E- O' D! e: z( l4 `
at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The 8 r+ u6 R% C" M: a3 V
woman who
1 j! f& ] o9 c) y8 O% ahad been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But
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could not take back what I had said.3 g7 p& _0 H2 l
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Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected 6 O; a& n) ^8 m ]4 {) w
to
m2 ?% w# H3 v1 Z6 J+ b5 r U7 ]see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce
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had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.& V" e! ~! B: a, I# }5 N$ R7 c2 A- H, v
% O; Q, q6 y0 L; c0 ?8 tLate that night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw
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writing something at the table. I fall asleep fast. When I woke up, I
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, }0 R9 N9 V: D, W7 wshe was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.
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% F: Q U! D/ \0 p+ f. S) ~She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from " U1 V) Q9 d0 h* a( | T W) o+ v
me, but
! p, J- U1 F3 e! D2 B% r2 V9 TI was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce, and in the# M6 z5 u. c, i! ]
month's time we must live as normal a life as possible. Her reason was, G2 q+ p& G# H$ [' T0 u
simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she
" @7 Y8 e8 G* z7 H, p/ Ydidn't want him to see our marriage was broken.
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; v2 x* M/ I! bShe passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do
+ H) q( L& J p; gyou
4 A; Q. C7 e1 Y5 q) ?still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This' j' s' w) H0 i& Y1 ]
question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I 8 Y4 C5 Z% [8 Q( }6 b* b/ Y
nodded
9 V. Z7 ]* A# ~3 W1 d7 N" Hand said, I remember. You carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I 8 K" P/ D. Y5 N4 t! e* l) @
have
/ ]8 ^9 q1 g H) ~9 |a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when 2 C/ B8 O1 r& f5 u7 u
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divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from % P* F; v+ ]" Q9 Z* A# Y
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bedroom to the door every morning.
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I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished 0 \) D" Q6 `, Q. E% u
to
0 Z- W$ k, ~# P2 q8 Q7 ~# zend her marriage romantically.% B8 B) }8 M( i/ J% v
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I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and( t3 e4 h- R6 O
thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face % W% L0 y7 ~, k5 P0 d9 `
the
: Z0 H) A$ z1 e" A" X) ]result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me 5 l5 T. J+ I) k' j/ v6 P6 d
feel% U( t( S$ G5 K! U5 q# F0 c
uncomfortable.
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My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention - @1 {% C+ q$ H; H9 H# P1 N
was$ U( ~9 @3 n. @5 {
explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when 0 D* B" U- ~. F+ z
I
: w; @% O2 Y( Z+ ~$ H9 n, x8 qcarried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son % p- p& }( R3 n. e
clapped8 |: V" F9 f- D6 z% z: p
behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a
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of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I 4 h: ^! G7 w! Z/ b1 m$ H' [
walked
, R5 P& |% }) ]# E$ r5 ?5 Qover ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said * e& D( k6 ]# u, ^
softly,
% H/ T9 @5 }5 t2 ^# h" _Let us start from today, don't tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat+ X1 U/ p, E( W# ?, K
upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for a bus, I , Y8 r2 Y% e1 R
drove
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On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my
9 \3 s- T; o" q M/ _. Bchest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse.
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7 b& ^ w" c) J% I4 p6 `5 \) vrealized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a
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time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles
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her face.: Y8 p1 G8 s1 G" w A! F3 [
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On the third day, she whispered to me, the outside garden is being( p3 f" |# Q1 C+ S) G' u' j
demolished. Be careful when you pass there.
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8 Q# o( O6 Q" p, e& |) }6 XOn the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were , A. X5 Z2 S6 D/ x- C) j3 J
still
8 D# ?0 ~3 v$ M% u# Wan intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The' \/ \# H+ s4 m% X& J' k
visualization of Dew became vague.
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On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, & a- K6 H& a3 M& v5 n
where
8 d2 T7 ]- T' [1 C: [: eshe put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I
w. @3 |7 [% L- z- gnodded." H' X& A6 U9 n2 O) u7 A! K) G/ _
The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this.6 W+ C+ O( j* n; k9 j
7 s# Y1 P6 ~9 ^1 c; D1 [- S1 V6 K0 RI felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me
/ o* C4 v/ ~# q v( d# n ?stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now. She
( J; u6 F7 [' c" C6 D. Iwas
) }7 W, I3 i0 j/ [3 S4 fpicking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a - j% f9 J* b9 y" d
few
6 T+ E1 a' Y# o4 ~; ]but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have( }9 B2 p1 P* Z' \, p7 \6 `, v
grown bigger. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she , S) g' f0 y% L7 P. H
was8 D2 q: v5 t. B0 J2 C7 S
thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger.
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knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a
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w9 {8 `) p1 Iof pain.. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.& ^" o' v) f3 m; v+ }
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Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it's time to carry mum out. He + h2 z/ r8 z+ x: q# s
said. To
) T0 f" a$ E9 ~: D# c! _him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential 5 i* c; A) d, ]4 U
part of
5 ~" C- K( p! a; I2 ?2 This life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I
6 t: f+ g6 r" C m& b5 ]0 R6 Nturned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last8 U% Z$ r5 l9 a Y9 A. G7 y
minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the
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room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally.
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held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her
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8 t$ m2 e0 c2 d: Jlighter weight made me sad.! b6 d+ s) \& G% R
2 D6 _$ _" `: t; ?On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. ! N1 M5 H1 W) d
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son had gone to school. She said, actually I hope you will hold me in
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; ~- w7 z O( C$ j/ |arms until we are old.6 u8 G1 u! Q n5 q6 k$ ^! K
9 w) c }/ _/ U. dI held her tightly and said, both you and I didn't notice that our life
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. x3 T f/ d6 qI jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid
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delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened ( G( [$ Z' i: R& j0 f0 ?
the
6 P* _5 l8 V" vdoor. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious.% ^2 i9 U0 M C& P) V/ D& u
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She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no8 I0 g; O1 s I' J5 Q
fever.. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I ' w" ], x R4 [" i6 v/ w* X
can+ F; l: U5 e, n
only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring
; X) Q4 F1 M1 }0 `probably
9 w: Y( L( q8 S* ^7 @+ [because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we
( k; ?# m& ?$ e: L4 [: v! ^; ndidn't
4 s8 D$ y0 r. o5 ?$ h0 `7 N% u' clove each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her
1 K$ Y G3 ?7 F# Z7 |( xinto the
1 }% t- |8 Z: Q. Mhome, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am
5 o# _' R9 E5 }old.
) S+ U& J! M. p" _2 A8 j, h$ oSo I have to say sorry to you.
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Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then 0 X: Y2 E! D s8 _5 z
slammed the; b" s- @, f: t5 k
door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.
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When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my
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which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the
# a6 _# r6 I) h/ d# p ]$ |5 |card. I6 w/ }2 t1 l; o
smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until we are old.
