Subject: Fw: Story from a husband - please read it slowly
' o6 p3 b' |! a% i+ e; F5 B
t: A1 |2 f, o% Y
* N) n6 T6 L3 Y g% C2 j
$ E6 H) j% f) D/ v5 y( @; RWhen You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms
, W* V, o9 |" |$ D/ ], B4 u
$ p% t3 N! ?6 l* S* r" t) M# i. c% i7 j5 P; a
On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped . S9 h; [; L) B
in
W! |5 X8 w0 l; Nfront of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of 3 T0 z; t/ S. I# g
the: Q" b7 U2 _ r. M
car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and % r! q! g' X% a
shy..
3 w8 z! ?" s# P( }; fI was a strong and happy bridegroom.
5 C+ E/ P* D; `; c6 m' A8 v1 W8 o& R# J1 P# C# f
This was the scene ten years ago.
~6 r. v: V' Z/ k$ y' s2 p, h, Q/ E1 W; i
The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid;
7 i6 f! p" S) SI
. A1 w- n" \8 bwent into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were
9 v# Y8 j) \& V" Qsteadily increasing, the affection between us seemed to ebb. She was a , U! K& @/ W, P4 C& e8 O
civil
4 y% B; U6 x! e; gservant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the
' l/ d6 ]- p8 \! a0 n) nsame" {1 f2 m% V3 c4 \+ T; [) T
time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.' ?0 ], {4 V! s6 p2 [
: A& T2 j" T/ E. [7 E& `
Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was
2 k, ?/ V. e0 bmore
4 l. z; P% U0 ]5 Y+ C3 ^8 `likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.
: N% ?4 C1 v3 a7 z, G2 V6 J; A/ B$ J, c+ ]2 S3 A& Y; Q
) M: i. @ ^/ _5 x# C' m2 u
Dew came into my life.
. V. ]0 O$ b7 ~" [ y5 Z) B0 g7 }: G+ ?; b& D% L- i& T
It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from
" a+ }: ?( \9 @; d" ^. J; jbehind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This
6 ?& R9 E1 x$ v" j- T2 u/ `+ ywas the6 F8 S& b5 K+ A
apartment I bought for her.
+ ~2 H8 K/ P) t1 q* d) _
0 }6 s' U! C+ `6 gDew said, you are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Her 8 h+ U3 `3 o$ p! W4 M, f0 W( C
words8 \& Y, K" y. J( n: q+ ?( N
suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we were just married, my wife * M# o7 q1 ?+ ]* @0 u
said,
' C0 p% X0 V' A' M% C/ TMen like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.4 F5 b3 {& |' `" X
p9 b* d' V- p/ b' WThinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my
* o8 x4 G0 ?: J: c7 X0 A8 mwife.. But I couldn't help doing so.
4 h$ D; a3 d8 C% ^
& ?7 D# ] K2 B. ^) ^I moved Dew's hands aside and said you go to select some furniture,
- e7 w! L4 S- HO.K.?) A! v: r- n) C" D t, x! _6 _/ o |; m
I've got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, 4 t! E2 n* R9 A4 j. E
because
. D5 w+ q0 U; C8 c: @9 @I had promised to do it together with her. At the moment, the idea of
( w5 o$ v% U+ f* I8 U0 ~& _divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something
* V+ V W6 `$ Vimpossible to me.
0 W/ [0 Q5 X" e, J& t+ ^5 P
; ]/ x' c6 t* X. f% eHowever, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No
' O1 }5 k7 F$ y" p, Vmatter how
) Q% e( A, k: W: X1 ?mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt.* R! n9 m$ ]) l6 a/ X& R
$ A8 P6 s5 `+ D! K
Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing
- X1 ~1 k9 w$ H/ t) Rdinner.4 e/ N/ D0 `# a `* Q# f
I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we
& X$ _( m% o+ J2 r! G0 {6 Mwatched
% A. ~" A+ }- jTV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's
6 q# E# O) D8 O! ^; W) R8 Ubody.9 v4 |" [* v Y# }- \& O: @
This was the means of my entertainment.
9 A7 T: I" `, H) I2 W Q
0 x: v- i9 S; w6 KOne day I said to her in a slightly joking way, suppose we divorce, : G% g. \; T6 o# e6 j1 ]" ~1 b
what
- l" ^ x2 F8 g- Lwill you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. 3 V0 k- k$ f! }% A; q
Apparently- ~& i- n2 e. J9 y, ~) t2 l
she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I
- A/ [' N) I# c6 X" R) L6 \. }couldn't" W* D- @' g& d/ T4 c! Q
imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.
5 [! K: u* N7 d; h
/ z0 \. J! N! X7 u+ `- {* b. d. _When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all ! E; Z# O7 Q5 x* w( a
the
" P) X9 q* O3 _staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide
. C- C% @. t$ ^( s) M9 B# d2 t! k0 ]something
4 X, q) r. Q" S% w. x. [while talking to her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently $ x4 \4 h4 k5 ~7 F) x" h4 b- s
smiled at, q' S/ o$ s" [" Z; ]# n/ v) D
my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.& B- [* V, `/ e* w& K
$ y+ Q( l6 Z( h* B0 G
Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live+ |$ l+ u& D( K; g9 k( X3 X
together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.9 O C5 W7 H8 l( y, _
* O+ T8 ]2 U& f4 r+ u
When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I've got something
7 K& x5 c; w1 U. V2 xto
' z+ H2 W) K) U0 J5 D+ W/ otell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the
! W4 J: x7 {3 m0 w+ p0 W- @hurt in
; M; g! ~3 @& p5 s7 Cher eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let / S# q$ m( i" {" y1 B: E
her
. B7 R, k: _/ C1 [9 D0 a* Zknow what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the serious topic+ h6 E3 ^% P4 _" V
calmly.
3 c9 d" s( M |" } T7 W/ P- u: h( t
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, & e8 U! T1 {: {% N
why?
" S: K. Q8 p4 GI'm serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer made her 9 P- B6 {% G! K' [6 x" }
angry..
: ~$ z8 W) D8 G2 v3 e0 DShe threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!2 e7 H( o9 ?+ |
( r* x, p( a' J- bThat night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she
( g) q2 e% y( a0 {9 gwanted
n, u# R* k% ^to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give / j! R3 g1 ]0 |4 Z/ ~5 X
her a; j x* A' Y% f `& p* ?. q
satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.
: w+ R; ]2 Q3 I! Y: _* Z& G: Z3 v$ c5 i2 s$ a
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated
8 }" }- U9 N2 O+ k/ d& P g0 W0 L+ N" wthat- q2 k* c1 k, P3 d0 Y
she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She / n! j+ w4 D8 T4 u
glanced+ P2 t' d2 }( ]
at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The ' [, K$ \& {/ N% N" i. X4 G* ?
woman who2 ]$ y) x# \% @$ W" }4 a( n
had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But
/ I6 S- }8 J# F! V1 xI
+ N5 B4 |* X* Ocould not take back what I had said.8 K7 m% g5 G2 `- F! H' T
5 k, [! E6 K' {. W( c* X: H
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected ) {) e4 w- K7 ~; S' A
to
8 D1 U9 M9 ]- dsee. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce
$ A, o" t0 r* [$ t& N2 nwhich
6 h7 G2 L2 ~/ H2 Q5 w" qhad obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.
9 o% u3 }* ? r6 g& o7 p; h
5 t* h, Y4 K% G2 e6 SLate that night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw
2 [, X0 J/ e7 U# ^* s2 gher
+ d+ i$ Y' ~3 S* @) i1 ^; U! O* Y! X$ Hwriting something at the table. I fall asleep fast. When I woke up, I
1 \, t R4 _" }4 f( _found
% R, ?' ^- N' [( o- q! [she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.
* D- v1 D5 H& _: U1 j: h/ n
' s! m# Z0 y4 XShe brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from
+ Y7 R+ }% a" D3 w) gme, but# j N: `0 o! h, l0 K
I was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce, and in the2 @% C# V& A4 d" ?# }3 N6 e ?
month's time we must live as normal a life as possible. Her reason was( P- N4 ]: z$ C5 f& o i
simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she: E1 j% K3 p4 K0 F. h
didn't want him to see our marriage was broken.
" M8 |; j0 \, L( k' A
, {, u0 Y3 h9 [" N6 nShe passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do
$ p8 c, l, j) e, q. o. s7 u6 ^you
0 [2 h& U* S1 J# K6 J% xstill remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This y2 T& c, @, j. N
question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I 5 x6 [& u/ s! T( |
nodded. G/ u. F% L% d( s! G" Z1 S
and said, I remember. You carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I 0 ^( i2 z+ L- Z
have
$ S( a* V: D* [" N$ d! U9 q2 c. T1 ka requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when
, D( F- a7 d8 ?% o& N) D* X0 owe
]: F, V/ \; o) I( _* wdivorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from . O; W) Z- M1 U* n; m" r
the
2 U$ W/ a# ?; u& a* [bedroom to the door every morning.' ^2 }/ i8 c5 @
5 _- z: t. _4 @/ f- o5 BI accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished
2 C- R. m" c: S2 D, Wto
+ s" q0 `5 X: v7 l, Kend her marriage romantically.
0 \+ [. |3 Y) ^2 f0 e) Y Q0 E* [4 _ ^: r
I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and
) g$ m) S; y9 ?& p% c5 Q- fthought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face
, o1 |4 r2 u) q& n1 Mthe
: t* N. H9 q) u8 } w9 f4 }result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me 4 N. B% \, l1 n9 f
feel
0 O- k# u; z7 S" U1 T9 O' Zuncomfortable.
" V. D {2 A% T1 N4 ]- a$ e* Q+ g4 f
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention " x- R" Q- w d
was) U" z7 C% I8 ^- ]
explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when , A! V1 t2 ?! q" j) r5 X6 u
I# V( \( e; E% N- H, D" }
carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son 9 p- b }7 l) L# U0 Q. ?8 h4 w
clapped7 f$ _& G1 f; f( x) e8 y
behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a . P: v4 w; k+ e" W; P; E
sense
% l# z2 y2 h" c7 Zof pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I " R9 Q( v$ P1 k$ r8 A" d
walked7 l/ E* r9 U7 j6 }; R
over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said
" L$ G% x" E1 e4 Dsoftly, b6 P/ i* Z9 e' E% B
Let us start from today, don't tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat; T; Q6 o6 }; P- h# @. Z2 g
upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for a bus, I
5 Z- R6 O! C% C3 [. M* ]drove
0 M0 |; z' e- n+ s8 U0 V8 `2 ~to the office.# \* m& F2 A5 a% q1 ]
4 h9 O& v8 Z1 z9 C, L& wOn the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my8 J) t9 H/ n* i G9 P) ?" m
chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. ! I4 C" G) g* D, @1 }
I
" _6 w0 H4 M& n; V0 C4 j/ }) drealized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a i) m1 ~" E% g
long
/ Y5 ~ }8 k8 j: V( [6 I8 Ztime. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles
5 I8 O6 @# m* o1 ?on
x8 ]0 {# A+ f, jher face.
3 O2 A+ A+ z5 O2 I
7 H' B: L; l* ~$ SOn the third day, she whispered to me, the outside garden is being0 D0 f: U, P/ a& Q/ ]1 S. _, V! k
demolished. Be careful when you pass there." W! D2 |& Z% F0 a$ Q
+ }9 U/ J7 M; a8 {6 h' EOn the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were ; g+ _. t1 `% N9 }, a$ n
still
5 y. {7 u/ k" h+ K7 c! E4 Oan intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The- j- z) R& |/ [: [) j$ U1 F
visualization of Dew became vague.
) X1 B+ f7 V# N1 i
& I; [ g4 O( c9 W5 S: TOn the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as,
* o7 Y d7 ~, U6 f+ Swhere
/ M7 l8 [ I8 o$ o% e8 [) g# p4 Qshe put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I
& I8 B2 N7 v% g- G$ M- \, |nodded.. g. K. Y" L X3 q2 s D2 I, h
The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this.
* ?* K! I# ]! p' l$ E1 x
) z5 V. M+ U5 Y9 LI felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me+ U5 \- B( e- b9 R e
stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now. She
4 A, F% T5 `, R6 ]) y0 Zwas
2 E3 ^) }8 N" _" \picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a
$ C+ z1 j! y& J6 vfew4 \3 ]! Z1 b0 @1 ?. X" j A
but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have
+ w& `/ G7 l ^9 B) f* [ x0 rgrown bigger. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she " |5 f8 G; O2 `
was
# N) D1 M4 O/ w8 h a* G5 x m; h, Rthinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger.
- @) m6 a+ X, p, EI
4 ^: D! W! @2 rknew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a
! {) | @' B/ Y5 U. @sense
, b! D; d$ j; Eof pain.. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.& X+ q% K; A+ t6 V
[9 a w8 j+ A; m/ }9 f
Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it's time to carry mum out. He
$ x3 c& O+ q7 r+ m3 t% c) ~said. To! }4 m1 m, G1 E' u
him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential 8 z* j A/ I- K0 m4 C( _, M
part of7 y& s/ i/ k5 z0 B1 M* n
his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I' F! H' }" i; I& N; N: R) Y
turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last7 g: `( e! M1 x7 G* t# m
minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the
' [/ L% k( z J) Y! [! f+ Csitting
% W% Z1 Y2 ~4 `2 wroom, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally.
: ]' x3 E# ? _( ?/ O* Z/ a* xI
5 e5 V, e1 w) u# d; x# H1 e& D' zheld her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her : C6 ~! n) U% b' h: v5 u2 ]
much2 I: }$ H6 {8 ~, N/ k3 Y
lighter weight made me sad.9 k$ G2 F7 y* [1 Y% s/ x) o
, t$ u5 k. b* y* A
On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step.
8 m+ U, Q: X8 f9 I3 T4 K; b( x$ S( IOur
! R: U4 X# g; _5 h3 }! h! ]son had gone to school. She said, actually I hope you will hold me in
u0 I, P7 D1 zyour
8 h0 G9 K( o* C# i' P, P, u; X1 varms until we are old.
G9 C! i! Y2 Z/ Q, z8 n
( s0 Z. Z7 T4 D; Y& {. yI held her tightly and said, both you and I didn't notice that our life
' R8 G: v0 {9 z9 c$ rlacked intimacy.
7 i3 z n* }; y' q& R" Y3 n; j$ j1 e4 T4 Y% H( }8 K
I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid & N2 N0 Q& p$ T: F3 O" T
any
# Q( u+ i! e, u$ I6 [delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened
2 f( f" H" `' ~9 e! d+ Pthe
2 W. x( N% h0 F5 C9 vdoor. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious.
5 k4 _! q0 o' @; c! w$ \6 U! @8 {) p; s' g9 T6 Z- S) V- j
She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no
, _7 n/ z |4 o/ x f1 r9 `# Tfever.. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I / `/ ?0 {) q: E3 Z: k
can0 N* M2 T1 S( `
only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring
& E7 u6 \. K/ M$ gprobably
/ R0 K" B& z6 U* ]5 L$ v) N/ l6 Sbecause she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we / J. \. `9 k. v
didn't) x7 X4 A4 t! j
love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her - E( O! S, o; M$ M' `( i) I/ F
into the) C- i* q" U0 Q6 O% ?3 j
home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am
. J1 k4 I, f1 H5 e t: ?. w0 vold.
9 c: e8 r, G1 S, [So I have to say sorry to you. d) V7 J0 D6 g7 M1 R. ]
8 X2 e, M- b( d8 ]; ~
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then
5 i- a4 A' S8 d; l W! lslammed the
) G! m6 U1 j6 mdoor and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.' e+ x5 A4 d1 g; {6 O* U
5 Q) \7 H+ {# S! w1 X
When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my
9 Y |' ^5 z% A" l# a- Bwife% q% E" Y) q3 a2 X* A1 Q
which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the
4 f1 I: T/ Z/ v3 |# T4 b3 ucard. I& z5 G, P% C! H) f: n
smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until we are old.
